A "Ruff" Week

This week had definately been a tough one.
Have you ever felt like God doesn't hear you!? Well, sometimes.. or should I say ALOT of times I feel that way.. even though I know deep in my heart he does. With me, its just I wonder where my life is going to take me. I believe God will bless me. And he'll start with my music career..However, there is a few people that tug at me everyday/tear me down!..making me believe that I CAN'T do this. They are people I love and can't just walk away from because I love them so much! This Thursday God has revealed to me to become more humble..but have a tough skin for him! I need to pray for these people. After I stopped and thought about it, I was like "DUH!..why didn't I think of this before?" Well, its because we get so wrapped up in our daily lives, or we dwell on, or let the outsiders RUN/OWN us by what they say! Jesus didn't let the pharisees run him...so why should we!? So from now on instead of letting these people tear me down, I'll pray for them.
Last Monday I sorta..walked out on my job at jcp. I was sooo sick of that job getting the best of me. Everyday I would come home in tears hoping I did everything right, hoping no customers wrote in on the survey to bash me for something that came across the wrong way, or just crying (and dwelling) on a remark one of my coworkers would say to me..probably without them realizing how deep it effected me. And here lately, I've felt like "friends" that I've made from my job aren't really "friends"... It's funny how people can act like they are feeling awful and don't want to talk around you, but when they get around people who are "more like them" - drinkers, loud people, outspoken, "flip-their-hair-just-right" people..its a different story. Like for example: Theres a girl Ive hung out with quite a few times at applebees and other places.. I considered her to be one of my good friends!.. I thought if something ever happened, she would have my back. (and she has! a few times!) Well, Im sitting in the breakroom, alone at the table.. I try to start conversation with her.. ask her how shes been? I havent seen her in a while..is everything alright? She rolls her eyes "huffs,puffs"..and sits down next to another coworker and her mood just went from sad, and "dont wanna be here" to "OH HEY! T----!" For some reason that just ran all over me.. and from then on everytime I would see her.. she still wouldn't have a conversation with me. However, the other day I did get a text from her basically asking me if I was ok.. (where I walked out on my job) I don't know about you people, but being around these types of people will tear you down even more! So what do you gotta do? PRAY! lol. Even as much as you don't want to, or you may think it doesn't work.. but OH it does! So this is what I went through on a daily basis. It may not seem like much, but once it happens EVERYDAY of your life! it WILL get to you. Customers themselves get to you! So next time you're at a diner or a shopping area.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be nice to the associate/waitress... you never know what theyre going through. I could tell you stories upon stories about what customers have done to me (and I might in another blog) But always be nice to these people.. and alot of times it REALLY ISNT our fault!
So now I'm on the look for a new job. I'm finishing up online classes for pharmacy technology.. SOOO hopefully I'll be able to finish up and get a job doing that. Is it what I want to do? (no, Id much rather do music for the rest of my life) ... but I believe God's timing is alot different then ours. God takes me through all these obstacles to only make me stronger.. because perhaps in the future, I'll need to be stronger then what I am now!
All I can say is.. I don't care who is mad at me for walking out on my job, I don't care if someone thinks I'm lazy (because I'm not.. I've worked ever since I got out of highschool) I don't care what other people think! I am beyond that! I have to tell myself that everyday!! As you can see from what I wrote above, I CAN'T let ppl get to me.. God will take care of it!!! So I'm actually glad I get a couple months off.. I get to stay home and be with the things that really matter! My little family! (JP [my husband], Scooter, Meeko, Spanky [the cat], and our newest addition...Pogo) Scooter always puts a smile on my face when I walk through the door...doesn't matter what I've been through! His little tail just wags and he stands on his back legs for you to pick him up!...And don't you think God looks at us the same way? No matter what we've been through...or where we've came from... HE STILL LOVES US..and still wants to be a part of our lives. So when you're down, think about your dog.. or your cat.. about how excited they are to see you when you get home after a long, hard day.. and when you do, think about he God must feel the same way. COME HOME! he's saying.. I'll be so excited to see you walk through that door!